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Sunday, May 26, 2024

Laziest Dog Breeds Perfect for a Stoner

If you’d rather catch the next high than chase your overly energetic herding dog around the backyard, this list of the laziest dog breeds is perfect for you. Netflix and chill with a couch potato pup is probably more your speed, and there’s nothing wrong with that. So, if you’re a stoner who wants to cozy up with one of the calmest, low-energy dogs, we’ve got you covered. Let the binge-watching and potato chip eating begin!

Are there lazy dogs who prefer lounging on the couch?

In truth, no dog breed is inherently “lazy” by nature. Although this may be true, some of the canines perceived as the laziest dog breeds are just low-energy pups. It’s important to remember all dogs require constant care, supervision, an investment in training, and parents who are willing to take on the responsibility of dog ownership. Moreover, all dogs need exercise. That said, some breeds just need less of it than others.

The list of the calmest, laziest dog breeds

With adult marijuana use increasingly becoming legalized, more people than ever before are getting baked. In the process, police K-9s are being put out of work. By the same token, a stoner’s mellow lifestyle necessitates a laidback dog who won’t kill their buzz. Given that, here’s our list of the laziest dog breeds we’d recommend to any weed lover looking for the perfect pup.


English bulldog sleeping on couch with little crocheted pillow under her head. Bulldog is one of the laziest dog breeds.
(Photo Credit: Hanneke Vollbehr | Getty Images)

The English Bulldog definitely isn’t naughty by nature, but he is brachycephalic. By virtue of having a short muzzle, Bulldogs often suffer from more respiratory issues. While they need to occasionally get out of their dog bed to burn off some pounds and counteract their risk of obesity, they love snoozing the day away. Summer heat and vigorous exercise are rough on this dog breed. As such, they’ll be perfectly comfortable lounging at home with a stoner parent.

French Bulldog

Similar to the Bulldog, Frenchies are at a disadvantage when it comes to panting to cool down in the summer heat because of their shorter snouts. No bother, French Bulldogs are perfectly happy by your side or traveling in a stylish carrier under your arms. Perhaps that’s why these pups are now one of the most popular breeds in America.

So, whether you’re a celebrity living in the Hollywood Hills or someone with a bit more modest apartment, Frencies are compact enough to be content in even the smallest of abodes. In fact, French Bulldogs grew in numbers after English lacemakers moved their canine companions with them to reside in smaller living quarters in France.

Relate: How To Find the Perfect Dog-Friendly Condo

Shih Tzu

Another lap warmer, the Shih Tzu is a compact dog breed bred for companionship. These dogs have a royal history originating in China, much like the Pekingese. Accordingly, these dogs would rather occupy a spot on the couch than one in an agility competition. That’s not to say they aren’t graceful and capable of such athletic fetes, because they are. However, minimal exercise and playtime will keep them fit.

With all the hours spent indoors, though, you’ll need to remember to regularly brush and groom their long double coat. Do yourself and them a favor by preventing painful matting and tangles. Good thing for stoners, it’s easy to comb a Shih Tzu’s flowing locks while you watch TV together.

Cavalier King Charles Spaniel

A chill, lazy dog, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel is sleeping on an arm of a woman who is relaxing on a sofa after getting stoned and needing a snooze.
(Photo Credit: Banepx | Getty Images)

If you’re a stoner who likes to snooze on the sofa while basking in the warm glow of a sunbeam, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel is the low-energy dog breed for you. Needing around half an hour of exercise daily, this popular toy breed was born to be a companion dog. In fact, Cavaliers also boast a royal history and were often seen on the laps of leaders occupying the throne. What’s more, these pups grow very attached to their humans. Cavaliers prefer spending every waking moment by their person’s side — even if it means staying in for the night … or a lazy Sunday.

Chow Chow

Similar to many of the chillest dog breeds on our list, the Chow Chow also originated in China. A medium-sized dog weighing between 40 and 70 pounds, this floof looks like they are imitating a bear or cuddly lion with their signature mane. Their thick fur makes them prone to overheating in the warmer months. So, moderate exercise is all they need to stay happy and healthy. That likely puts this dog in the pro column if you’re a 420 aficionado. Plus, we imagine it’ll be totally wicked to look at your Chow Chow’s distinctive blue-black tongue when you’re high as a kite!

Basset Hound

Cute, laziest dog breed of a Basset Hound dog with big ears asleep in blankets at home.
(Photo Credit: Cavan Images | Getty Images)

Last but not least, the low-maintenance Basset Hound ranks high when it comes to the lowest energy, laziest dog breeds. These pups are surprisingly laid back despite originally being bred for hunting. While they are still Hounds — meaning they have both a great sense of smell and a stubborn streak — they’re restful dogs with calm temperaments.

With distinctive droopy faces, stubby legs, and heavy-boned bodies, these medium to large-sized dogs need enough exercise to stave off obesity. That said, stoners can rest easy knowing this pup isn’t in a hurry to go anywhere. In fact, Basset Hounds are even known for being a bit sluggish indoors.

A blunt warning for stoner pet parents

Choosing a pup from the list of the laziest dog breeds may seem ideal for a stoner pet parent. However, being a responsible dog owner means that no matter your love for plant medicine, you’re always putting your pup first.

All dog parents should ensure their furry friends get adequate exercise, enough playtime, and mental stimulation regularly. To keep pets healthy and happy, dogs need a nutritious diet and easy access to clean water. Just like adults, dogs can experience anxiety. So, they fare better when they know their needs are always going to be met.

Golden Retriever is smiling for the camera. Sunglasses has on his eyes and scarf textured cannabis leaves has around his dog neck.
(Photo Credit: Jaroslav Frank | Getty Images)

If you’re willing and able to provide your pet with low-impact activity during the hours you’re not zoned out, the adoption of a dog is one of the best choices you’ll ever make. The rest of the time, be sure to give your calm pup plenty of affection and attention. Under those circumstances, your canine couch potato will be perfectly content in your chill, stoner home.

Most importantly, never let your dog partake when you take a toke. Marijuana toxicity can be deadly for dogs, and ingesting even a small amount of THC can land you at the emergency vet. Put bluntly, responsible cannabis use means keeping any and all marijuana products out of reach of your pets.

Alva Thomas
Alva Thomas
Alva Thomas expert in training and caring for pet dog breeds. Whether he spending quality time with her own furry companions or contributing to websites such as Dogsbreed.org and Animalpet.com, dedicated to our canine.

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